Wednesday, August 24, 2011

OVER THE TOP





23 August 2011  Pakistan Today



With economies around the world floundering including its own, the British government initiated cutbacks in Britain to offset the ill effects. This resulted in the recent British riots. No public anywhere is ever thrilled by cutbacks, and had David Cameron accepted this obvious truth, that the riots were the backlash of a long disaffected public, his credibility would have increased. Instead he insisted that the riots were ‘criminality, plain and simple.’ As a result there is now an uncanny resemblance between David Cameron and our home grown Rehman Malik who, ever ready with startling statements, insisted a couple of months ago that not only was the law and order situation in Karachi well under control, but that the CIA was not conducting operations in Pakistan.

                    

Of course, this being Pakistan and Mr Malik a representative specimen, he produced the additional mysterious piece of information that ‘during the last five months forty eight police personnel had ‘embraced shahadat’ while taking action against the criminals.

Wait, what...?! What does this have to do with the law and order situation, or the CIA, or anything?! And just how did this happen? Instant mental picture of forty eight police officials racing after criminals shouting ‘La illaha....’

What basis Mr Rehman has for any of his statements remains shrouded in mystery, to a lesser extent the same could be said for Mr Cameron’s statement about the riots. The motive of both, of course, is obvious.

A bemused Pakistani public is still trying to figure out the appointment of Ms Khar as Finance Minister. Her relationship to Ghulam Mustafa Khar of Feudal Lord fame has raised eyebrows, but really, he is of less importance than her wardrobe.


Hina Rabbani Khar with
the famous Birkin bag
Ms Khar was poised enough in her interviews with the press, such as the Indian NDTV, and most people would happily accept her relationship to Godzilla if she brings some competence to the job. After all, God gives you family, and which of us is able to throw the first stone and all that? No, she cannot choose her uncles, but she could have chosen her handbag better.

Every person’s wealth is his/her personal business if legitimately earned. However, Pakistan being an indigent relative among the family of nations and Ms Khar being Pakistan’s representative, one expects her to possess more sensitivity than to flaunt her personal wealth on official trips. It’s like cell phones ringing from somewhere about a beggar’s person. Her staggeringly expensive wardrobe must anger foreign observers expected to use their people’s tax dollars to bail out Pakistan on a regular basis.
Sonia Gandhi

Ms Khar’s clothes and accessories when compared with Sonia Gandhi’s elegantly simple handloom Indian saris produced locally and holding special significance for whichever community she visits, should make Pakistanis blush; for look as hard as one may it is impossible to find any connection between Mr Hermes or Jane Birkin, and Pakistan. However, it may be best to give the young Ms Khar time to acquire some experience, and taste, which isn’t all about a wardrobe.

And meantime in the Karachi with a law and order situation well under control, hundreds of people have died since June, and God knows how many more will in the violent future. Visuals of buses and buildings on fire in Karachi bear an uncanny resemblance to others ablaze across the globe in London. Ashes and flames after all look exactly the same everywhere.

The explanation for this violence has filtered through the sieve of many theorists, and what remains appears to point towards something so sordid it is difficult for even Pakistan, sensitized as it is to morally ignoble and mercenary deeds to accept. It is increasingly understood that the violence is less racial and much more a war between gangs that extort bhatta, or protection money all over the city.

For years, businesses in Karachi have paid protection money to gangs and the practice apparently has the support of a ‘mainstream political group.’ The police appear powerless to prevent this practice, and is often said to be involved. Businesses have shut down or moved locations to escape this drain on their budget, where they have come up against other similar gangs. Thousands have died because they have refused or been unable to pay. This definitely is criminality, and like most criminality it has its roots in an underlying rot.

A disaffected public rises up in protest for many reasons. It is worth realising that the threshold for protest and even the threshold for a major revolt have been crossed in this country some time ago. It is now a question of when this revolt will take place, and what form it will take. It can only be hoped that it will be as quickly suppressed as the riots in Britain, and the causes dealt with. However, given Pakistan’s history, and leadership and people like Mr Rehman Malik, who speak authoritatively in percentages, there is a 99.8 percent chance that this will not be so.

Monday, August 15, 2011

MISUNDERSTOOD WAY OF LIFE

Due to a series of errors mine included, the draft version of my column was printed this week, instead of the final. I am therefore publishing this version which is not from the newspaper itself on this blog, because this is what should have been printed.

By Rabia Ahmed                                                                Pakistan Today 16 August 2011


‘If stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out again?’

Well obviously because we’re not done being stupid yet, and there’s still Sarah Palin.

The full blown epileptic state of the world today makes cataclysmic events such as the breakup of the Soviet Union appear either like a very large twitch or a very small seizure. Wars and irresponsible borrowing produced the US economic crisis, a drop in its credit rating, and the bandying about of terms such as ‘deleveraging’ which has nothing to do with physics.  Another economic crisis in Europe and resultant spectres of default and austerity measures led to riots in Greece and in normally bucolic settings such as England, suddenly unsettlingly like Beirut.

Middle Eastern regimes collapsed, and erstwhile rulers hung on grimly as in Libya, fled the country as in Tunisia... or remained as in the case of Egypt, only to be brought to court in a cage.

Famine in Somalia, a breakdown of governance in Pakistan... is all this plain stupidity (to a great extent yes), or is the world failing to think laterally (and rationally) about alternatives to current systems?

The thought intrudes: has Islam a solution to offer? If so, which Islam are we talking about?

Many of today’s problems are exacerbated if not always caused by what is seen as Islam...the armed ‘Islamic militant’ Taliban variety that comes with suicide vests and ‘jihadist’ ideals.

Imam Yahya Hendi
Imam Yahya Hendi a Muslim Chaplin at Georgetown University, D.C and founder President of ‘Clergy Beyond Borders’ posted a comment on Facebook defining Jihad:

‘Jihad is not fighting in a combat zone that claims the lives of men and women. Instead, Jihad is to spiritually, mentally and physically say ‘no’ to all forms of evil including the evils of our souls. 
Jihad is to say ‘no’ to hate, violence, revenge, and war. Jihad is to tell the truth, keep the promise and speak for justice for ALL. Jihad is to look after our earth and protect our water resources. Jihad is to stand up for women’s rights and of the poor.’

Those educated objectively in the teachings of Islam are aware that this is so, but the emotional/misinformed majority still associates jihad with militancy.  If the world labours under a misconception about an important term such as this, what other misconceptions do we have out are there?

Islamic teachings cover the fields of banking, governance, charity, education, men, women, children, orphans, the old and sick, wars, social intercourse, marriage, and much more. The larger the ground covered the more scope for misunderstanding and probably the biggest misunderstanding of all for both Muslims and others, is that Islam is nothing but a rigid collection of trivia… the hijab, whether or not to shake hands with strange men, how to perform ablutions, etc.

While some important aspects of Islam such as its strict monotheism and its other four ‘pillars’ are inviolable,  there is no way that a way of life meant to be for all times can be so prescriptive. Islam, that huge revolutionary concept teaches a set of principles, based upon which actions may be (rationally) considered and based. It is only if this view is accepted that Islam can be applied successfully, and this is being realized, more so in the non ‘Muslim’ countries of the world. The following are only a few examples:

Prof Rodney Wilson
Professor Rodney Wilson is the Director of the Finance Programme at the University of Durham which offers postgraduate degrees in Islamic banking systems. He says that people in the west are increasingly skeptical about (traditional) banking services, and that Islamic retail financial institutions are now well established in many Western countries. For him ‘Islamic banking and finance is about the emergence of a distinctively Islamic form of capitalism that may co-exist and interact with Western, Chinese, Russian or any other capitalism. Such a development should be welcomed and facilitated, not be hindered or suppressed.’

The ADAMS mosque in Virginia offers more than ritual prayer. It offers (to both men and women) computer, language and literacy classes, and during off hours its prayer hall doubles as a basketball court.

All those years ago, tolerance of and coexistence with minorities were taught by Islam, and yet it is only now that members of the National Assembly of Pakistan expressed their approval of Jinnah’s dream of people being ‘free to go to their temples, mosques or any other place of worship.’

This column is not intended to be a theological rant, but to point out the rather foolish tendency of disregarding/discarding ideas without even bothering to look them up to gather sufficient information. 

With the world in the mess it is in today, it is worth keeping an open mind, although I still draw the line at Sarah Palin…I’ve looked her up.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

LUNAR CALENDAR


By Rabia Ahmed   Pakistan Today  09 August 2011

The time has come,’ the Walrus said, ‘to talk of many things,
of ramzan and prayers and zakat tax,
of CPI and load sheddings,
And why our days are boiling hot
And of new moon sightings

It’s that time of year again when learned ones ascend tall towers to sight the Ramzan moon over the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. The exercise is repeated again at the end of the month so we may celebrate Eid.

A ‘Sardarji joke’ that has done many rounds is about how many Sikhs it takes to screw on a single light bulb. Well then, how many maulvis does it take to spot a single moon?
Members of the Ruet e Hilal Committee 
The Ruet-e-Hilal Committee meets in every province, taking testimonies from individuals, and that single tower lends itself to some sixteen entire maulvis from the Ruet-e-Hilal Committee, as well as representatives from the Pakistan Navy, the Meteorological Office and the Ministry of Religious Affairs.

After all that, the KP went and spotted the moon a day earlier on Sunday night. The clerics of the Qasim Ali Khan mosque in KP were chided by the Chairman of the Central Ruet-e-Hilal Committee (while about fifteen other persons vied for the camera alongside him) for ‘not cooperating’ with the Central Committee, which is interesting, for if the purpose of the whole exercise is to sight the moon, then they say they saw the moon. If the aim is to cooperate or coordinate with someone, ah then that opens a whole new can of worms, doesn’t it? Then why stop at coordinating with Pakistan, coordinate with Muslims all over the world, already!

While holiday rosters for Christmas are set months in advance, Muslims all over the world are never certain when Eid will be. In Muslim countries this is inconvenient but at least everyone is in the same boat. In non-Muslim surroundings, however, this annual charade is a headache.

This year there appears to have been a certain amount of consensus, and Ramzan started on the 1st of August in the Middle East, US, Britain, and KP, although there are bound to have been some differences, such as the rest of Pakistan.

It bears consideration: given the chaos and poor organisation every year over the simple matter of moon sighting, whether we are the best people in the world to be organising say a nuclear arsenal? Or let’s simplify that: If it takes fifty persons to determine the beginning and end Ramzan in Pakistan, how many persons would it take to determine the safety of Pakistan’s nuclear weapons, from beginning to end?

The two major calendars today are the Gregorian, a solar calendar, and the Islamic, a lunar calendar. Days always fall on the same day of the lunar calendar, for example the fasting month always starts on the 1st of Ramzan, and is followed by Eid-ul-Fitr on the 1st of Shawwal, and so on. It is when transposed to the Gregorian calendar that the lunar calendar fails to synchronise, and varies by approximately eleven days every year.

There is controversy regarding the method of determining the lunar calendar, more importantly since most of the world follows the Gregorian calendar. The Fiqh Council of North America has decided to adopt the astronomical method of calculation which, since such scientific methods are now available, allows a calendar to be pre-determined for many years. Holidays can be planned, time taken off, menus organised, yada yada.

For the rest of the Muslim world, the lunar calendar is based on actual sightings of the moon. This method, while ingeniously useful when other methods were unavailable, has now become rather dakianoosi, a lovely word which means ‘outdated’ and can be liberally applied.

Unfortunately, our inability to resolve such issues bodes ill for our ability to achieve consensus on less emotive issues as important for our earthly survival as Ramzan is for our eternal salvation.

So back to our nuclear arsenal: how many Pakistanis does it take to secure a nuclear arsenal?

One must first decide which Pakistanis are to be employed.

Any group with a religious bias is likely to take more than 1400 years to come to any decisions if then, given the moon sighting example. However, as we have recently seen in Japan, nuclear matters require snap decisions.

A group with political affiliations is no better, seeing that one political party cannot control violence in just Karachi, the other cannot figure out how many provinces the country must have, whilst the third cannot decide whether to be in the coalition or out of it.

If military intelligence personnel are to look after the matter, it is again a dubious choice, since ‘military intelligence’ is a plain contradiction in terms.

Besides, to continue the lyrics above, ‘some of them are out of breath and all of them are fat’, C S Lewis – spot on.

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Rabia's avatar
Rabia· 15 hours ago
Correction: That was of course Lewis Carroll in Alice in Wonderland, not C.S Lewis, sorry folks.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

SUCH SUGAR'D WORDS


SUCH SUGAR’D WORDS (original)
By Rabia Ahmed

There is much more profanity in common use these days. According to the inimitable Mark Twain, under certain urgent, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. Certainly it is true that there are times in a person’s life, (and in the land of the pure such times occur monotonously, with urgent, desperate profusion several times a day), when to be denied the opportunity to express oneself by means of suitable expletives is akin to an excision of the tongue and the soul. In fact, for denying this opportunity of expression to those who provide material for its columns, and also for gross overuse of certain words such as ‘flay’ in its texts, this here newspaper on your lap ought to be subjected to severe disciplinary action.

Denied this freedom of expression in today’s social conditions one is forced to swallow one’s ire. Surely it is unsafe to curb oneself to such an extent, and maybe it is for this reason that the habit of expressing oneself in words unsuited to polite company has proliferated (outside of these pages) to the extent that it has today.

Another reason, of course, is that we are faced with a disconnect from our past that occurred, to quote Reza Aslan, as a result of the ‘vacuums of power and identity that so often follow independence from foreign rule.’

Once upon a time people may have greeted each other thusly: ‘Adaab arz hai Mirza Sahib. Aap kay mizaaj kaisay hain?’ And the response would have been along similarly florid lines.  Occasionally, stronger sentiment required expression, since the idea that a gentleman never swears is a fallacy… ‘a gentleman can use foul language and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.’ Shakespeare proved it; there is no dearth of extreme nastiness in his plays, ‘She is spherical like a globe. I could find out countries in her’, or ‘Thou crusty batch of nature,’ and ‘Out, you baggage! You tallow face!’

Anyway, in such a contingency as when stronger sentiments needed expression, a person may once have said, ‘Aap ullu kay bachay hain’. Note the use of the polite ‘aap’ and refrain from blaming me for the subsequent inaccurate use of words. It is entirely due to this newspaper’s deleterious policies that the word ‘ullu’ cannot be used in conjunction with certain other words. 

And so, while the Mirzas were adaabing each other, the British were busy consolidating their position vis a vis the Raj.  They played around a bit, as they do, setting one language above the other, and so first Hindi and then Urdu suffered a calculated neglect in the educational institutions of India, and the British and their English became a role model for a culturally disaffected generation… language being held to be a vehicle of culture. 

Not long after this though, the British were, in the words of an eminent son, forced to ‘make a noise like a hoop and roll away’ from the subcontinent.  Subsequent generations growing up outside the Raj cast their eyes, (which had by now become used to looking out rather than in), further west and set up other role models for themselves.

An entire generation is now growing up before our eyes, flicking its fingers in imitation of unknown American rap singers, mouthing words I can only describe here as #@^T%. 

Now, there are many wonderful things about the Americans, such as bernudas, capris, T-shirts, hot dogs, ketchup, and buffalo wings… but the frequent interjection into speech of the ‘F’ word (by a small minority) is not one of their better ideas. One wishes that the disaffected youth of Pakistan were more discerning.

Surely, most users of profanity in Pakistan have no clue about what these words mean. No doubt if forced to look up the meanings in a lexicon they would be duly horrified, and many would refrain from the habit wherever possible. However, a rational approach to issues being an unacceptable concept with our people at present, we meet cuss with theological cuss, and manage to change matters only to the extent of making them worse.

Pakistan’s failure to instill an adequate familiarity with their own or any other language in its students, coupled with an unmatched ability to provide enough frustration to make a saint swear means that the youth of Pakistan, not being saints, take refuge in exactly that. They have found along this route (of profanity) a short cut to what they consider proficiency in a foreign tongue. It is easier for example to say ‘F@#&^% ing stupid’ than to thumb the pages of a mental thesaurus and come up with alternative words such as ‘inane’, ‘mindless’, ‘purile’, ‘obtuse,’. The first smacks of distant shores, and the second too close to a home that holds no allure.












Such sugar’d words  (as printed) The Dawn 07 August 2011


There is much more profanity in common use these days. According to the inimitable Mark Twain, under certain urgent, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. Certainly it is true that there are times in a person’s life when to be denied the opportunity to express oneself by means of suitable expletives is akin to an excision of the tongue and the soul.
Denied this freedom of expression in today’s social conditions one is forced to swallow one’s ire. Surely it is unsafe to curb oneself to such an extent, and maybe it is for this reason that the habit of expressing oneself in words unsuited to polite company has proliferated (outside of these pages) to the extent that it has today.
Another reason, of course, is that we are faced with a disconnect from our past that occurred, to quote Reza Aslan, as a result of the ‘vacuums of power and identity that so often follow independence from foreign rule.’
Once upon a time people may have greeted each other thus: ‘Adaab arz hai Mirza Sahib. Aap ka mizaaj kaisa hai?’ And the response would have been along similarly florid lines. Occasionally, stronger sentiments required expression, since the idea that a gentleman never swears is a fallacy… ‘a gentleman can use foul language and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.’ Shakespeare proved it; there is no dearth of extreme nastiness in his plays, ‘She is spherical like a globe. I could find out countries in her’, or ‘Thou crusty batch of nature,’ and ‘Out, you baggage! You tallow face!’
Anyway, in such a contingency as when stronger sentiments needed expression, a person may once have said, ‘Aap ullu hain’.
Note the use of the polite ‘aap’ and refrain from blaming me for the subsequent inaccurate translation.
And so, while the Mirzas were adaabing one another, the British were busy consolidating their Raj. They played around a bit, as they do, setting one language above the other, and so Urdu suffered a calculated neglect in the educational institutions of India, and the British and their English became a role model for a culturally disaffected generation… language being held to be a vehicle of culture.
Not long after this though, the British were, in the words of an eminent son, forced to ‘make a noise like a hoop and roll away’ from the subcontinent. Subsequent generations growing up outside the Raj cast their eyes, (which had by now become used to looking out rather than in), further West and set up other role models for themselves.
An entire generation is now growing up before our eyes, flicking its fingers in imitation of unknown American rap singers, mouthing words I can only describe here as #@^T%.
Now, there are many wonderful things about the Americans, such as bermudas, T-shirts, hot dogs, ketchup and buffalo wings… but the frequent interjection into speech of foul words (by a small minority) is not one of their better ideas. One wishes that the disaffected youth of Pakistan were more discerning.
Surely, most users of profanity in Pakistan have little clue about what these words mean. No doubt if forced to look up the meanings in a lexicon they would be duly horrified, and many would refrain from the habit. However, a rational approach to issues being an unacceptable concept with our people at present; we manage to change matters only to the extent of making them worse.
Our failure to instill an adequate familiarity with our own language in our students, coupled with an unmatched ability to provide enough frustration to make a saint swear means that the youth of Pakistan, not being saints, take refuge in exactly that. They have found along this route a short cut to what they consider proficiency in a foreign tongue.
It is easier for example to say ‘%$#@ stupid’ than to thumb the pages of a mental thesaurus and come up with alternative words such as ‘inane’, ‘mindless’, ‘purile’, ‘obtuse,’. The first smacks of distant shores, and the second too close to a home that holds no allure.
— Rabia Ahmed

Monday, August 1, 2011

BEYOND BOUNDARIES

By Rabia Ahmed    Pakistan Today     02 August 2011

Physics and people such as Einstein and Hubble have a theory which makes sense, thankfully, since Einstein doesn’t always make sense to me. They said that in the beginning there was a big bang, and the explosion spewed forth particles which sped outwards becoming the many diverse people of this earth: the Jews, who parted first the Red Sea, and then the Palestinians from their homeland, the Christians who, trying to walk on water made bridges, and the Muslims who crossed them, and all the others who fit none of these categories.

But surely there has been a sea change which the Hubble people should note: these particles have now ceased their headlong flight and started coming together with the result that the people of the world may now be said to form just two large, loose groups: one consisting of those who hold rabid right wing views, disapprove of all this proximity and protest violently against it. The other consisting of persons who light little candles whenever the first group gets violent and say ‘tut tut’. Never mind from where each group draws its members, they resemble each other closely enough to warrant comment.
 

Organisations such Al-Qaeda, the Jewish Defense League and the Orange Volunteers belong to 
the first group, as also individuals such as Richard Reid the shoe bomber, Timothy McVeigh, and more recently Anders Breivik who couldn’t stand the proximity of all those Muslim shaped particles in Norway. For such people life means censorship – against persons for having or not having beards, against women for being raped, and against women for being alive, against governments for their policies, against persons for being or not being baptised, and against anyone who possesses a menorah.


Timothy McVeigh
Naturally, being extremist, and since assassination is just an extreme form of censorship, they proceed to assassinate the persons they censure. This explains why most victims of terrorist attacks are mostly beardless women, happy clappy Christians, or anyone who shouts ‘Oy vey!’ which is what Jews are taught to say just before being hit by a bus.

Many members of the second group spent much of their lives recently on prayer mats following Breivik’s killing spree in Norway, muttering ‘Please God, don’t let it be a Muslim, don’t let it be a Pakistani, please, God, please!’

It was just the same with Germans for years after the Second World War whenever a Jew anywhere in the world keeled over and died, ‘Please God, don’t let it be a Nazi, don’t let it be a German, please, please, Heil Gott!’

Well, this time around it was not a Nazi, nor a Muslim, nor even a Pakistani. One must thank the Lord. However, this does not make this tragedy anymore or less horrific or the actions of the perpetrator any different from other perpetrators of similar acts anywhere in the world.

Do ‘Muslim’ terrorists note the similarity between themselves and Breivik, this blond Norwegian who was so proud of his European heritage and Nordic race that he advocated cleansing his country of Muslims, because they were different; who targeted his government because he believed it was sympathetic towards these non-Catholic non-European persons.

Muslim militants too have a compulsion to kill persons belonging to any sect of Islam other than their own, and of course non-Muslims.

Breivik expressed admiration for Al-Qaeda’s quest for ‘cultural purity’, and said that had Mohammad (PBUH) been alive today, ‘Bin Laden would have been his second in command.’

Breivik’s blog has been traced, a 1,518 page document he has admitted to writing, and which calls for attacks on ‘traitors’ in Europe, who, he says, were allowing indiscriminate immigration, enabling a Muslim takeover of the continent and its European culture.

Breivik advocated demolishing mosques because they are not Catholic churches. In Pakistan, Ahmadi or some Sunni places of worship and shrines are attacked and destroyed because they do not belong to the attackers’ sect. The rank and file Pakistani also subscribes to caste or tribal systems and marriages across either are discouraged and even violently prevented.

Breivik stated his acts were justified and non-punishable, a sad but necessary way of bringing about a revolution in Norway. Militants in the Islamic world target civilians to get their message across and justify this by using distorted arguments from the peaceful religion of Islam.

Breivik signs out of his blog on the 22nd of July saying: ‘I believe this will be my last entry. Sincere regards, Andrew Berwick, Knights Templar Norway.’

Our hearts go out to the Norwegians in their tragic hour. In the midst of this tragedy let us grieve for victims of terror and their families everywhere in the world, sacrificed as they all are at the altar of extremism, an ideology that crosses all boundaries.